Winter Speed Order 2023

Wow, well, Winter Speed Order has come and gone.

I am grateful to the support I received (because truly, not everyone does support This Thing I do. While I can see That Reasoning too– it’s hard to continually justify You Doing You to Important People In Your Life).  Yet, going into this race, I didn't think this was my race to do anything extraordinary in the sport itself. I didn’t break the 8’ barrier this race and that’s a basic gauge of water speed. This race was my time to try some things-a more conservative race, and an All Out Off the Start race just to see where and how I fell apart so I can address my weak points. 

To show up when I wasn’t fully ready, but because the opportunity was there to race with the fastest lightweights in the US (Is it too much to say world? I don’t think so) was what I wanted to do. I’m proud of the mental coolness I showed myself. These past weeks I’ve been highly focused on my progress-not placing much emphasis on temporary results (in practice, on a practice test) other than what do I need to learn from them. I’ve seen strong tangible indications in those results. More importantly, I’ve found new mental gears and feel that my mental state is where it needs to be. From past experiences, in and outside of sport, I know the physical results will follow.  

I’ve always had enormous respect for the US lightweight rowers-but to see the races so many of them put together in and of itself was beyond words. I had a little chat with Audrey after her semi without knowing her results and then saw what she put together-it blew my mind in the best way possible. I’ve seen her hustling out on C54 these past few weeks and it was sick to see that come together. To know that Sophie almost didn't make it to the starting line for a million reasons but did and came away with 5th, holy shit girl. That’s tenacity.  To see Michelle’s chosen, deliberate and continued speed-followed so closely by Molly’s is absolutely awesome. Liz and Liza’s semi came down to the finish line. All of the athletes, including those that had to withdraw from racing this weekend,  shows the courage and depth of the field. It’s a commitment towards excellence you don't see every day, but when someone chooses to live with its undercurrent pulsing through their veins, they are never the same; they are better. I’ve had the feeling that something special was happening in the US around 2019, which is why I was felt-someone needed to write about this-so I started-and I think it’s clear that this story is not done yet. I’m grateful to shepard this story. I’m going to do my best here, and I believe that best will keep elevating. 

As my coach said in January-sometimes, simply executing exactly where you are is progress. I could not have done this race without my coach- he has respect for me and for the journey I’m on in medical school and his understanding of my circumstances when others told me to quit. I’m grateful for Chloe for reminding me that no coach tells me when to stop, I get to decide that. I’m grateful for coaches showing up when I’ve needed them to. It’s not the first time I’ve felt the essence of: when the student is ready the teacher appears. Still, I hope we will have a better pool of US rowing coaches-who are deliberate, who are self critical, who give power and autonomy to their athletes, who are committed to learning more about and understanding  lightweight female physiology as that field of research progresses, who are fair, who are respectful of everyone, and especially of women and girls in and outside of sport. 

Rowing and doing medical school is tough-but I’m psyched to have the opportunity to pursue both. It’s so cool to be able to learn this medical knowledge in a relatively short period that has taken years and lifetimes of painstaking research to uncover. Still, I want there to be a better way for others-not just rowers/med students because that is too niche-but longer term I want there to be more alignment: between medical education, the way our brains work, the skills and resources we absolutely need as physicians (!), the medical industry’s fostering patient health/wellbeing, student and physician wellbeing, and the way we are evaluated as student doctors. Right now-it is lacking.The force vectors are everywhere and it doesn't create what will be of more service to society.  

I’ll take my 9th place finish. I’ll see myself into my study cave for the next 8 days now. 

Something pretty cool is just around the corner ;)